We had to tick the boxes of the things that we will never do before we die. Which is a lot of them, because most of the things were ridiculous. I'll have fun typing out all the things I'll never do, here goes:
BEFORE I DIE, I WILL NEVER:
climb Everest
write a novel
become world chess champ
have a sex change
become a king or a queen
walk to the north pole (let's be realistic here.)
learn russian
start a revolution
celebrate xmas in may (might sound fun, but i'll never do it I know)
call my parents pa or ma
work in a coal mine
watch all of bergman (no idea what this is, so I cant watch it all)
follow mao's teachings (same here)
visit space
speak in tongues
dress like a hip-hopper
be gay
start a cult
grow a beard (impossible. or at least i hope it is.)
feel like batman
become a rock star
stop worrying (although I'd like to think I will)
learn to fly
invade a small country
seduce the prom queen (ehh no thanks)
adopt a romanian
paint someone in tar and feathers
win the nobel peace prize
give birth to a goatboy (???)
marry somone ive never met
overthrow a regime
organize an orgy
discover atlantis
see my face on a banknote
be eaten by cannibals
burn my bra (i like them. really)
turn 117 years old
marry a prince
settle in pittsburg
become pope
inherit the crown jewels
be used as a manga character
grow a tail (jumanji nightmares here)
crash a helicopter in the jungle
take a vow of silence or chastity
jump bail
live with a hermit (stinky. and if I live with him, wouldnt he not be a hermit anymore?)
greet the extraterrestrial delegation
beat bjorn borg at tennis
sweep a chimney
be the seventy eighth person on the moon (I"M NOT GOING TO SPACE, OKAY??)
fight a duel
have my own brand of olive oil (what? who does??)
become immortal
catch the bird that pooped on me
make a pact with the devil
walk down the yellow brick road (hate that movie..)
jump on a real bandwagon
exterminate a zombie
whistle while I work (i cant whistle..)
memorize an encyclopedia (no thanks..)
floss twice a day (I NEVER FLOSS!!)
sacrifice a goat
sleep with a whore of babylon
sup with satan
track down lord lucan (??)
cause an intergalatic rift
get away with murder
travel back in time
face a firing squad (god, i hope not.)
become an object of worship
gate crash the white house
have the midas touch (i wish. actually I dont. but maybe temporarily? or when necessary?)
cure the common cold (will never happen, i know.)
discover a new continent
come out of a black hole alive
precipitate the decline of the west
suck my little toe in public (NO NO NO)
mate with another species (i'm pretty sure that is illegal for a reason)
become possessed
surpass, understand, or look like Einstein
predict an eclipse
participate in the olympics
change astrological signs (I like taurus.)
bring back bambi
write in cuneiform
join the french foreign legion
achieve perfection (not even gonna try)
spell egg differently (why?)
win top prizes for my verruca
beg in the street
channel lava away from a village
grow a third nipple
witness the big bang (hopefully there wont be one to witness)
meet a bolshevik
successfully crash land a jumbo jet
fiddle while rome burns
design the perfect croutons
give rise to a cause celebre
part the red sea
have sex with my clone (who is attracted to themselves? ew.)
I know that's a long list. but here are a few things that I WILL do:
kiss a stranger
ride a camel
laugh at a bad joke
graffiti a highway bridge
break a promise
get a tattoo
say no when I mean yes
bake a souffle
win the lottery
risk my life
learn pole dancing
tell my deepest secret
confess under duress
find myself
believe it or not, going back through the list to find my yeses, I found tons of nos that I missed. but dont worry, i'm not going back. I think my list has plenty!
(that just means, betty, when you read this dont think "omg does she really plan on shoot the last buffalo/play the lead in swan lake/lick an electric eel??")
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